There’s a war waging somewhere in the distance, Nirvana can hear the gunshots and explosions from over here. The ground under her feet started trembling and dark clouds of smoke and ash are moving across the sky. The battle is definitely getting closer and pretty soon it will engulf Nirvana as well. And she still doesn’t know if she’s a part of this war, and if she is: what side is she on?
She didn’t ask for this. She was happy minding her own business, living her life. And now she finds herself alone, locking all the doors, killing the light – hoping no one’s coming home tonight. But just in case, she has a can o’ Whoopass ready to unleash on the uninvited visitors. And it’s all 100% natural, no additives or preservatives included. Here’s the full list of ingredients:
WARNING: the can o’ Whoopass may also contain traces of beans, cabbage and broccoli and has been known to let out large amounts of gas. So do not cook under direct heat and do not shake, pierce or squeeze. Do not mix with other foods. Do not inhale. Do not leave it inside a car that’s under direct sunlight. Do not run while holding the Whoopass can. Only open as a last resort and do not look directly at it while opened. May the Whoopass have mercy on your oppressors.